I know you did your best with what you had but, since you’re no longer available for a sit-down chat and some kind but firm feedback, we’re going to work it out a bit right here.

A friend tells me that, unless I’ve had a child, I can’t really critique my parents. She’s wrong: this is my story that I have every right to tell.

You might say that, at long last, I have a bone to pick with you. Put on your learning feathers, Mom & Dad.